Horse & Country

We’re in Duston village, outside Northampton in England. My missionary papa, Luke Mace, and his wife Charlie have welcomed us with perfect hospitatlity, and sharing their new little home with them and their baby son, Milo, is delightful. He got married straightaway after returning from the mission only a bit before I finished, myself), and Milo came along a year later. After mixing with their friends and siblings, all of whom have been married a handful of years and have one, two, or three little people scampering around their feet, Margaret find ourselves feeling very differently from how we did in France, where nearly set of parents we encountered got married later than we did and waited quite a while before having children.

Of course, the Maces and their friends are probably an anomaly in England, but it’s a new feeling for Marg and I to be in a community where the childrened couples are the same age or younger than we. Whereas most europeans we meet congratulate us for our bravery in getting hithced so so so very young, it’s funny to be here and observe people my age (23) or younger shepherding multiple children, owning property, building things, and being rather autonomous.  I don’t know whether to measure our lifespeed in mormon miles or “normal” kilometres. I suppose it’s healthy to feel averaged somewhere in between the two.  Whereas the Maces and Company all grew up together, with families inhabiting the same region interdating and interknowing each other for years prior to marriages, Margaret and I have known one another for less than a year, which sends most peoples’ heads spinning. So in a way we’re behind, but in another way we’re going with insane quickness.

In any case, we’re feeling that the best thing is to spend a year or two developing a healthy regular routine of work, exercise, and relaxation time together and forge a good base before taking any other major step in life. For one thing, I’ve got to graduate from BYU and get all my connections and possibilities sorted out so we can see where work could lead us. I’d like to know whether we’re aiming for France, the UK, or the USA before trying to set up the baby factory… but I’m simultaneously very excited to have some little creatures to look after.

In the meantime, we’re sticking with the plan: plants, a cat, a dog, a second dog, then babies. We’ll see how quickly we can move through that.

We’re very seriously considering France as a permanent settling location, but I DO feel surprisingly at home here in England, so there’s much left to ponder. Gotta investigate learning institutions, dig deep into social services research (it’s a bizillion times more expensive to have children or get medical care in the States, but then again how hard would it be for us to get integrated into French or British citizenship?), and pursue potentially long and windy lists of contacts and tips in order to figure out which place/job/etc. will be the right fit for us. I’m really glad we set up this summer project so that we can make the seeing and feelingout of some of these professional and education institutions, geographical regions, and social communities an objective. The contacts can be done from Utah by phone and email, but you have to have scoped out a habitat before you can know whether you really want to up and transplant yourself into it, don’t you?

It looks like after April 2010 when I’ll’ve graduated, we’re going to spend a year or so “just working” and working on that healthy routine thing while I make contacts and hatch plans. Depending on what I find out between now and then, I might start applying to grad schools for 2011, but only if we find some promising opportunities. Otherwise, I’m honestly feeling the need for a year or two to simplify my daily life and absorb/process the education I’ve already received. It’s like I’ve crammed so much in, taking 5 classes simultaneously for semesters upon semesters in a row, that I’ve “let my schooling get in the way of my education” as it’s sometimes diagnosed, and I definitely couldn’t handle rushing off to some school and paying some largeish amount of money just to feel as overburdened, distracted, and ineffecient as I’ve felt over the last couple of years. I need to learn my lessons, improve my methods, and focus on doing one or two things well – which, fortunately, seems to be the idea behind masters’ and doctorate programs. Until I’ve worked out a Plan A, B, and C which deeply excite and motivate me, I’m looking forward to just digesting the courses I’ve already taken.

Well, I’ve got quite a lot more to say about babies, France vs. England, and so on,  but I’m exhausted tired and Margaret’s nearly sacked out, herself. I’ll get right on it, though, because I finally have a keyboard which permits me to use my previously hampered Macbook — that is, IF I ever make it back to our apartment in Paris. See, Margaret just found out that the British TV channel SKY has an entire channel devoted to horse jumping and other equine sports, so I don’t foresee us leaving until I get my hands on either some chloroform or one of those cage-dolly things they used to transport Steve Buscemi in Con Air.

~ by John and Margaret FORBYN on 13 June 2009.